An ode to the screwed

All the Screws in Screwville have suffered rather a lot, because the Grinch in black, green and gold is the government they got.

From the seat of maladministration in the jacaranda-lined capital to the burnt-out remains of the parliamentary brothel, the Grinch presides as Pimp of Patronage to the greedy while sneering at the needy.

Puffed up with self-importance, the Grinch pours scorn over the Screws, humming amapiano tunes while leaving every nook and cranny of the state in ruins.

The national airline and Post Office hobbled in debt, while municipalities crumble under years of neglect.

Streets covered in potholes like a bout of bad acne, and the Durban sea unswimmable because infrastructure is so crappy.

Screws of Screwville wait days for water while electricity goes off for hours.

Darkness is what the Screws get for granting the Grinch 28 years of power.

The Grinch deploys cadres to clock in and shut the gate, and to watch TikTok dance moves and the latest Nollywood greats.

Inflating tenders for hand sanitisers and Digital Vibes, bumping off whistle-blowers who cotton on to their lies.

Thousands and thousands of Screws wait in endless queues in the sun, hail and rain, for IDs, passports, birth certificates, licences, grants, a decent education, healthcare – and some medicine for the pain of having to live under the Grinch’s reign.

Admittedly, the Screws have themselves to blame for voting for the Grinch again, again and again.

Perhaps if we’re generous we can forgive them their folly, because in the beginning The Grinch was rather jolly.

But those halcyon days are sadly no more.

Nipped in the bud when The Grinch decided to sell out the poor for Aids denialism and quackery, State Capture and hijackery.

Who knows, maybe the Screws are waiting for a change of heart – for The Grinch to stop causing an entire country to fall apart.

Or maybe the Screws of Screwville will screw their courage to the voting poll, and finally be rid of the Grinch who stole Christmas, Boxing Day, Easter, Youth Day, Human Rights Day, the Day of Reconciliation and New Year – and with them an entire country’s cheer. DM168

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