TGIFood

At Soweto’s smoking sensation, practice makes perfect Texan BBQ

The menu at Something Smoked, left, and Sihle Nkomo at work, right. (Photos: Anna Trapido)

4 Oct 2024

Mpho Nkomo’s township Texas barbeque joint is Gauteng’s coolest hot spot.

By midday on Sunday the queue outside Mpho Nkomo’s Something Smoked Roadhouse snaked from the back door of his grandmother’s tiny township home, along its narrow driveway and then at least 200 metres down Chris Hani Street in Chiawelo, Soweto.

Not a roadhouse in the classic eat-in-the-car, tray-clipped-to-the-window sense of the word, Mpho uses the term literally to mean that he serves food from a house to eager eaters waiting at the side of the road.

The menu is pasted onto a bright orange smoker parked at the garden gate, and the chef’s younger brother, Sihle “Sugar Vibezz” Nkomo, takes orders. Some of those who were waiting paced back and forth as if they were expectant fathers outside a 1950s maternity ward. Savvy regulars had brought beer crates or fold-up garden chairs to sit on. Thirsty customers gave their order, left a contact telephone number and went around the corner to the shebeen.

My visit coincided with pension payouts, and my most immediate queue companion was an elderly lady in her Sunday best but there were also hustlers nursing hangovers, hipsters in bucket hats, glamour girls in halter tops and families keeping small children occupied by playing Peppa Pig episodes on mobile phones. After a while, a Johannesburg Metro policewoman parked her official vehicle in the middle of the road and joined us. For at least half an hour passing cars took turns to drive around the resultant traffic obstruction.

There is a perfectly good shisanyama no more than 50 metres away, so why were we all hanging around outside Something Smoked? As unlikely as it may seem, Mpho Nkomo has created a deeply delicious shrine to Texas Barbeque in Soweto.

How did a man in Chiawelo who has never been to the US, let alone Texas, become the barbeque hit of Gauteng?

Mpho Nkomo with one of his smokers, left, and fooling around with a pig’s head, right. (Photos: Anna Trapido)

Mpho explains: “I was a boilermaker and every Friday we would have a staff braai. It was at one of those braais that a colleague decided to do something different. He brought in a brisket that he had home smoked. That was my introduction to barbeque. I had never tasted anything so wonderful. From then on, I was hooked.

“I started studying how to make it on YouTube. Then retrenchments happened. It was last in, first out and I was the youngest member of staff, so I lost my job. Everyone said that with my skills I would soon find work, but it wasn’t happening for me. I would get calls for interviews in Rustenburg and other places that were far from Soweto, but I didn’t have the money to travel.

“I am not one of those people who can sit around and do nothing. I thought about barbeque and realised I had the skills to make my own smoker. So, I did. My first attempt at smoking a brisket was so bad that not even my dog would eat it, but I persevered. I became obsessed with getting it right.”

He is not kidding about the obsession. Mpho’s every waking hour is spent fine tuning his craft. Comparing the effect of different woods, sourcing top-quality meats and devising dry spice-rub recipes. He has taken tips from other barbeque enthusiasts – notably Mike Ross at the Salt Slab, Curry’s Post in KwaZulu-Natal – but, more than anything else, it is practice that has made perfect.

Let’s be clear. We are not talking braai or steakhouse — both of which basically involve high, direct heat, quick cooking of tender meat cuts such as fillet or sirloin to create a seared, sealed exterior and a juicy interior. Something Smoked specialises in slow, low cooking whereby indirect heat transforms originally tough meat cuts of beef or pork (brisket, ribs, pork butt etc) into melt-in-the-mouth magnificence.

Brisket smoking at Something Smoked Roadhouse, Chiawelo, Soweto. Right: smoked rib. (Photos: Mpho Nkomo)

Smokers are basically a box with a smouldering wood fire. This box has a tube through which smoke and some of the heat is fed onto an adjoining enclosed meat container. Sent through over many hours, the constant low heat and smoke penetrate the dry-spice-rubbed meat, breaking down the otherwise tough connective tissue.

Mpho smokes fat marbled beef brisket for 16 hours until the outside develops a “bark” crust (made up of a combination of meat sugars, dry rub and smoke), which resembles a lump of coal. Inside is beyond super soft. Sliced, the rich, rendered savoury slivers flake almost like salmon.

Pork ribs are rich and juicy. The meat doesn’t fall off the bone, but I wouldn’t want it to. A great barbeque rib should be soft but not sloppy. Teeth must tug a little. Sheering incisors working to release every last thread of flesh from a bone is a primal joy. Do not expect sticky sauce slathered Spur-style ribs. This is a dry rub which won’t leave hands and faces feeling ticky-tacky. Mpho’s signature spice blend is hot enough to create a little mouth glow but is also layered with flavour. The aim is to stimulate, not obliterate, taste buds. As is traditional in Texas, mustard and chilli sauces are served on the side so as to ensure that the meat stays the star of the show.

Mpho has resolutely resisted all requests to add local starches to his menu. There are no chips, pap or ujeqe (steamed bread). Instead, he serves a choice of classic sides. I opted for a glorious gloop of mac n cheese – not that effete four-cheese and truffle oil nonsense served with hipster irony in smart suburban bistros but rather an ebullient embrace of all the things cardiologists warn their patients about.

I also ordered a tart, tangy crunchy pineapple salsa, which did all the right compare-and-contrast palate-cleansing things. Portions are large. My friend and I shared the four-meat platter, savouring brisket, pork and beef ribs and smoked sausage plus two sauces and two sides. We paid R240, ate heartily and still had leftovers to take home. Meats change each week. Regulars rave about the pulled pork, chicken and the turkey legs.

Mpho began smoking and selling from his grandmother’s house in 2021. He works all week to be ready to open for business on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. There is only so much meat one man can prepare and only so many smokers that will fit in the backyard. Once he has sold out, there is no more until next week. My friend and I arrived at 11.30am and we weren’t the first in the queue. By 12.30 the line was expanding exponentially.

The menu at Something Smoked, left, and Sihle Nkomo at work, right. (Photos: Anna Trapido)

Bring a hat. There is some shade under Mpho’s granny’s carport but almost everyone waits in full sun. Some customers take their taste treats home, but most people eat at wooden picnic tables set out in the drive. There aren’t very many of them, so expect to squash up and make a friend. No drinks of any sort are sold – but there is a shisanyama round the corner and a bottle store across the road. Mpho is clear that he isn’t running a boozy, rowdy spot. BYO is fine in moderation. He doesn’t mind if the mood reaches the gentler edge of friendly tipsy, but he doesn’t tolerate drunk and disorderly.

His fame spread initially by word of mouth and later through TikTok. Every week more people pitch. They come from an ever-expanding geographical and social range – which is both wonderful and slightly sad. Right now, it is a perfect local spot. For the people of Chiawelo, by the people of Chiawelo. This will inevitably change as the business outgrows granny’s garden and more outsiders arrive. Mpho Nkomo is super-talented and I am sure that his next steps will be equally exciting, but they will be different. Go now, before people like me break this small, local, lovely thing.

Mpho doesn’t take reservations so just get in the car and go. If you are unfamiliar with Chiawelo, factor in time to get lost. The house is marked on GPS maps but reaching that red dot on the phone screen can be complicated. Chiawelo street names are generally marked on the kerb but widespread double-parking obscures them.

The most reliable way to reach Something Smoked is to keep car windows open and let the Texan barbeque fragrance guide you towards your dining destination. Or look out for the Metro police car parked in the middle of the road… DM

Something Smoked Roadhouse | Vhembe lane, 3344 Chris Hani Rd, Chiawelo, Soweto | @somethingsmokedroadhouse | 071 112 4016

Categories:

TGIFood

Tags:

DM is much better if you are signed in...

TGIFood