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Try these new approaches to deal with children behaving badly

Try these new approaches to deal with children behaving badly
Mark Potterton
By Mark Potterton
23 Mar 2025
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The world has changed profoundly and new methods are needed to enhance discipline.

I asked 10 teachers what their major challenge was in school and they nearly all said it was the poor behaviour of students and managing classes.

In a 2020 South African study, Noorullah Shaikhnag argued that it was the abolition of corporal punishment in schools that made it impossible to maintain discipline in classrooms, and “20 years down the line teachers complain that since beating learners with canes has been outlawed, educators have little or no authority in classrooms”.

She said that “the situation in South African schools currently seems to suggest that a lack of discipline and increase in violence, especially among high school students, has led to teacher authority being undermined, hence poor learning and teaching take place in schools. This affects the lives of both teachers and learners.”

I don’t agree with her argument and believe that traditional disciplinary methods such as suspension, expulsion and other reactive strategies are commonly used but are often ineffective. These approaches often exacerbate undesirable behaviours and contribute to negative outcomes such as poor academic achievement, depression and substance use.

As a veteran teacher, I would argue that most of the discipline challenges we experience in school are related to the lack of teacher preparedness. Almost all new teachers at school report feeling ill-prepared to handle discipline problems effectively, and this lack of preparedness leads them to rely on ineffective punitive measures.

Schools vary widely in their disciplinary policies and practices, which can sometimes exacerbate students’ problems rather than support them. In South Africa, most schools lack the necessary structures to support children with behavioural or mental health concerns effectively.

Read more: Effort and commitment are critical in creating the caring school cultures we desperately need

Another understanding


In her book The Good News About Bad Behaviour, Katherine Reynolds Lewis contends that childhood and parenting have radically changed in the past few decades, and this means that children today struggle to manage their behaviour.

Lewis argues that “we face a crisis of self-regulation”, and that parents and teachers struggle daily with difficult behaviour. She explains that in the American context, about half of the current generation of children will develop a mood or behavioural disorder or a substance addiction by age 18.

She argues that contemporary children need to learn independence and responsibility and that our old ideas of punishments and rewards are preventing this from happening.

I find this argument very compelling.

Lewis articulates what she calls “the apprenticeship model”, a new theory of discipline that centres on learning the art of self-control. Blending new scientific research and powerful individual stories of change, she shows that, if we trust our children to face consequences, they will learn to adapt and moderate their own behaviour.

Lewis identifies three factors that have contributed to the discipline crisis. First, where, how and how much children are allowed to play has changed. Second, their access to technology and social media has exploded. And third, she says, children today are too “unemployed”.

She doesn’t simply mean the occasional job for a high school teen. She refers to household jobs that can help younger children build confidence and a sense of community. “They’re not asked to do anything to contribute to a neighbourhood or family or community,” she writes.

Lewis’s approach gives some hope and support to teachers and parents who want both understanding and answers. Her main ideas are important: children don’t need additional rewards to behave, but rather that parents and teachers provide models and train children in self-regulation. She argues that overscheduling, a lack of sleep and outdoor play, poor diet, too much screen time and undiagnosed learning or attention disorders must be dealt with. Her main argument is that children need to learn independence and responsibility, and that we need to teach them the skills to succeed.

Empathy and physical touch help humans to self-regulate, and this is more powerful when it comes from a parent or other close relative. Lewis encourages parents to connect through special one-on-one time, verbal encouragement, weekly family fun, doing household work together and especially recognising a child’s interests. She emphasises that you should “connect before you correct”.

She suggests that we ask questions to stimulate children’s thinking, and not to always solve the problems for them. “Talk less and listen more,” she writes. “Don’t assume you know what’s wrong; get the child’s input. Speak with the respect you’d offer a friend. Give information, not orders.”

Lewis says we should not label children, but rather describe their behaviour and emphasise the positive traits we notice. We need to focus less on academic, sport and arts performance and focus more on emotion management, executive function and life skills. It helps children’s mental health to contribute to the family, school or community.

Help children learn what helps them to self-regulate, whether it be a quiet corner, physical exertion, a fidget or stress ball, conversation, a hug or another tool.

Lewis observes that many adults also have bad days and struggle with self-regulation. She says we must learn that we need to model healthy stress management, conflict resolution, respectful communication and use of technology.

The consequences for children should be set by mutual agreement and be reasonable and respectful. The child should know what the consequences are in advance.

She goes on to say that we should put children in charge of tasks, or get them to help with the most difficult one. In addition, parents need to view screen time as a privilege that accompanies responsibilities.

Interventions that work


Implementing school-wide positive behaviour support programmes has been shown to significantly reduce problem behaviours and improve the overall school climate. These programmes focus on teaching and reinforcing positive behaviours rather than punishing negative ones.

Approaches such as restorative justice, which emphasise repairing harm and restoring relationships, can be more effective than punitive measures. These practices foster a sense of fairness and legitimate authority among students and are growing.

Developing and implementing early intervention and prevention strategies can address behaviour issues before they escalate. This includes teaching social and emotional skills and providing support for students at risk. Some schools are integrating behaviour management and social skills training into the curriculum and this can help students develop the necessary skills to manage their behaviour effectively.

A way forward


The challenges in managing children’s misbehaviour and discipline problems in schools are complex, involving psychological, cultural and long-term developmental factors. Effective disciplinary strategies must include a range of approaches, from rule-setting to relationship building, and cultural differences affect the management of misbehaviour.

It has become clear that providing teachers with continuous professional development in classroom management and disciplinary strategies can enhance their ability to handle misbehaviour effectively. DM

Dr Mark Potterton is the principal of Sacred Heart Primary School and director of the Three2Six Refugee Children’s Education Project.

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.

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