Emigration: The profound psychological pain of those left behind

19 Apr 2024

Almost all of us are affected or know someone who has been affected by the trend of young South Africans emigrating to pursue opportunities in different parts of the world.

Previously, reliable and up-to-date emigration data for South Africa was not readily available. There is no official agency that collects emigration data, so verification on South African emigration statistics is problematic.

However, some other emigration statistics are becoming available from three key sources: Statistics South Africa (Stats SA), the United Nations International Migrant Stock database, and the National Statistics Offices (NSOs) of foreign nations.

For example, in 2017, Professor David Kaplan and Thomas Höppli from the University of Cape Town’s School of Economics conducted a private study using NSO data and found that the number of South Africans residing in 31 other countries had increased from 435,000 in 2000 to 820,000 in 2017.

Statistics SA also recently published the first Migration Profile Report for South Africa: A Country Profile 2023, on which Daily Maverick’s Georgina Crouth reported, saying that South Africa “has lost almost a million citizens to emigration since 2000. The data also suggests claims about a ‘brain regain’ in SA are overly optimistic.”

Read in Daily Maverick: Gone for good — dwindling number of South African emigrants return

Emigration destinations

Migration stocks are defined as the total number of persons living in a country at a particular point in time who were born in another country. The graph below depicts the migrant stocks in the top 10 destinations where South African expats reside.

Europe is the most appealing region for residence, attracting 39.3% of migrants (this includes the UK). North America’s share is at 18.1%; Oceania 29.9%; Asia 2.2%, and Latin America and the Caribbean 0.3%.

Read in Daily Maverick: Thousands of South Africans have sought asylum abroad, says Stats SA migration report

But what about those left behind?

Regardless, statistics rarely capture the whole story, and beyond the analysis of the numbers lies the profound impact on family relationships. Equally significant as the statistics are the shifts in social dynamics within families.

Emigration is often depicted as a solitary journey – an individual’s pursuit of new horizons and opportunities in a distant country. However, the reality is far more intricate, with the effects of emigration rippling through the lives of not just the emigrant but also those left behind, particularly their closest family members.

Consider that for every emigrant who leaves, a void is created in the lives of their parents, siblings and beyond. It’s a ripple effect that multiplies, potentially doubling or even tripling the number of people affected when extended family members like cousins, uncles and aunts are included. The 914,901 people who emigrated from South Africa by 2020 thus became 2 or 3 million or even more people being affected by emigration, in a country where family ties are deeply cherished.

For parents, it can evoke feelings of pride, mixed with a profound ache because of their absence. Siblings, who may have shared a lifetime of memories and dreams, suddenly find themselves navigating life’s milestones without their closest confidants. The emotional attachments nearest to the emigrant are the most affected, but in the end, every affected relationship alters the family system in a different way, contributing to the complexity of the adjustment process.

The true impact of emigration on those remaining

The impact of emigration is often quantified through economic loss and skill shortages in critical sectors such as health and technology. However, this perspective overlooks the profound social and psychological repercussions for those who stay behind, particularly in South Africa, where the phenomenon has reshaped the fabric of many families.

There has been limited exploration of the social and psychological impact of emigration on those remaining behind in South Africa. Therefore, the true cost of emigration must account for these intricate, often hidden effects on the psychological welfare and quality of life for the seniors left to face the twilight years with a fragmented support system.

Read in Daily Maverick: The profound challenges of emigration: Insights from South African families

As adult children emigrate, families become transnational families and are thus not defined by geographical boundaries or by limited time frames.

A 2002 study by Helen B Miltiades sheds light on the profound impact of an adult child’s emigration on family dynamics and individual wellbeing. The study found that the absence of an emigrant child can lead to negative psychological effects on parents, who often suppress their desire for their child’s return in favour of the perceived prosperity abroad.

As individuals age, their reliance on family for care and companionship increases. Next to the support received from the spouse, the support of children has the most influence on the general wellbeing of the aged. Studies reveal the emotional and psychological vulnerability of those left behind intensifies, leading to a sense of loss, helplessness, loneliness, depression and anxiety and a diminished quality of life.

Recognising these aspects is crucial to understanding the full spectrum of emigration’s impact, advocating for a more holistic view that includes the effect on those remaining in South Africa.

Challenges for the ageing parents in SA

This author’s ongoing research shows that each parent’s emigration journey is unique, with its own psychosocial challenges and emotions. The adult children’s decision to emigrate left the South African parents interviewed with mixed emotions. They experienced feelings of ambiguity, insecurity and fear, although they were relieved that their grandchildren would be raised in a more stable and secure country, with better educational prospects. The absence of their grandchildren complicates the situation, depriving grandparents of the joys of intergenerational relationships.

Further, the destination country plays an important role in the parents’ experience of their adult child(ren)’s emigration. Communication that was once effortless now requires deliberate effort, bridging time zones and cultural divides.

The time zone difference between the emigrant’s new location and their home country can make it challenging to find convenient times for communication. For example, the time difference between South Africa and Australia ranges from six to eight hours ahead of South Africa, depending on the specific locations and daylight saving time. This makes it difficult to coordinate phone calls or video chats and can lead to less frequent communication and feelings of being disconnected.

The distance between the emigrant’s new home and their home country can also hinder regular visits to parents and family members. Long flights and the associated costs can act as barriers to frequent visits. The travel time for a flight from South Africa to Australia, ranges from 11 to 14 hours. In the case of Canada the flight duration is 17 hours.

Another challenge emerges as a visa is required for SA passport holders to travel to most countries. Visits abroad require preparation, planning and organisation well in advance of the travel date. In addition to meeting all the health requirements, it is advised that health insurance is taken out for the full period of the intended visit to prove that one will be able to cover any medical costs which might arise.

Due to the very expensive and long international flights, emigrants may miss out on important family events and milestones, and their parents may feel a sense of loneliness or abandonment.

While remittances from emigrant children can help ease financial burdens, they cannot replace the emotional connection and support that parents crave. The longing for familial closeness persists, taking a toll on the mental and emotional state of the elderly parents.

Beyond numbers

The stark statistics of 1 million individuals already having left South Africa accentuate the magnitude of this phenomenon. Behind each data point lies a human story – families struggling with the redefinition of their identities and of relationships strained by the vast distances that separate them.

Emigration fundamentally alters the social and emotional dynamics within families, leaving a lasting imprint on the psychological wellbeing of all. While South African parents are comforted by the thought of new opportunities awaiting their children, they are also burdened by the inevitable change in the familial order, while facing their elderly years with diminished familial support.

Stephen Miller aptly stated: “Immigration is an emotional issue. And it ought to be an emotional issue because it affects people’s lives.” DM

Categories:

Maverick Life

Tags:

DM is much better if you are signed in...

Maverick Life

The true impact of emigration on those remaining