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Letter to Mahlamba Ndlopfu — I need a hearing aid to understand Sona

Bhekisisa Mncube
By Bhekisisa Mncube
10 Feb 2025
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My leader, these are fine promises wrapped in ribbons of innovation, but will they land or join the growing graveyard of Sona pledges past?

Ah, Chief Dwasaho! I am full of remorse for my pettiness in refusing to watch your grand parade on the telly as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces – with enough ammunition (one hopes) – Head of State and National Breadwinner, delivering your much-anticipated 2025 State of the Nation Address (Sona).

Pundits and punters alike agree it was a spectacle. Even your arch-enemy, the President of the African Transformation Movement, Vuyolwethu Zungula, had kind words for you. He praised your bold stance against US President Donald Trump, though he chided you for not going further and telling The Donald where to get off. “Keep your aid; we will keep our minerals,” he thundered on eNCA. 

My mole inside the National Assembly assures me the whole affair was dignified – you were confident, smiling, yet presidential. He/Him (for clarity, my mole is a transgender man) is partly why 130 countries have lost US aid over the so-called “woke nonsense” of recognising diverse sexual orientations, enshrined in our 1996 Constitution and coded in law. Perhaps Lindiwe “Princess of the Revolution” Sisulu was right. Our Constitution is littered with “liberal nonsense”, and our judiciary is full of “House Negroes.” I digress.

DEI collisions


According to my other mole in the US – a black South African woman married to a Nigerian man (sacrilege!), both residing in Washington (imagine!)  – confirmed that the CIA and White House are now convinced that DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) is responsible for mid-air passenger plane collisions, the deterioration of American values (fewer mass shootings and bombing sovereign states), and a surge in paedophilia.

A passenger jet collided with a US Army helicopter near Ronald Reagan Airport, killing 67 people. However, Trump & Co had the ammunition to declare war on DEI. This incident, totally unrelated to DEI, still prompted the usual right-wing pundits to blame affirmative action pilots and “woke” air traffic controllers.

They argue that meritocracy was sacrificed for diversity quotas, leading to disasters in the sky. Fox News, that noble institution of truth, ran hour-long specials on how equity policies are crashing planes. Never mind mechanical failures, bad weather, or corporate cost-cutting – no, the real culprit is pronouns in the cockpit.

It is pontificated – with straight faces, no less – that this dire violation of the “sacred order” has rattled the corridors of power in Trump & Co, prompting Washington to slash aid to poor countries. But, crucially, not trade. No US dollar may be used to aid and abet the “sacred doctrine” of recognising any sexual orientation that does not bear the divine stamp of Trumpism.

Still, my local mole swears you even got the Democratic Alliance (DA) to clap for you – not once, not twice, but three times. It is alleged – and I cannot confirm because my mole’s Wi-Fi was on a go-slow – that the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) did not raise a single point of order. Meanwhile, the uMkhonto Wesizwe party (MK) sat quietly, behaving better than a Grade R class on their first school day.

Hail, President Matamela Ramaphosa, child of Soweto, who made it big against all odds (a few billion here and there), buffaloes, Ankoles, and whatever else lurks at Phala Phala Wildlife Farm. Some among us – especially my colleagues in the commentariat, who have never seen nor earned a million rand in their lives – call you uphunyuk’abemphethe (Google it, dear reader). They say you are the Tsotsi of Chiawelo, a man who twice slipped through the hands of authority – first during apartheid (no Robben Island for you!) and again after the Phala Phala imbroglio. I can smell jealousy a mile away.

The Sona


Where was I? Oh yes, the Sona. I read the whole document, all 17,439 words of it. It took me 87 minutes, but my brain fog kicked in – it was way past my bedtime (11:00 pm, to be exact).

What struck me as odd is that you dared to utter another swearword in front of a certain group of old geezers already afflicted with permanent brain fog: “artificial intelligence (AI). Since we – me and you, my leader – are now part of the woke brigade, I consulted Perplexity AI, turbocharged with the new Chinese DeepSeek RI, and asked: What was new in your Sona?

The results jolted me awake before I could doze off at my writing desk. I had trudged through 87 minutes of Sona, expecting, at the very least, a breakthrough announcement, a policy shift, or something to shock me into consciousness. But no, my leader, you spent millions of rands, backed by a 21-gun salute, to rehash the same five themes from previous Sonas with barely a new update in sight.

First up, Energy Sector Reforms. You reassured the nation – again – that load shedding is on its way out, thanks to Eskom restructuring, private renewable energy investments and the Electricity Regulation Amendment Act, which came into effect early this year (the only new part). You’ve been playing this tune since 2018, yet blackouts remain our national anthem even though we now get them as “weekend specials”.

Then came Infrastructure Investment, with a R940-billion pledge over the next three years to fix roads, ports, and dams. We’ve heard this before – remember the Infrastructure Fund of 2019? The same roads are still pothole-ridden, our ports are clogged, and dams remain paper promises.

On to Job Creation, the ever-reliable crowd-pleaser. By your account, the Presidential Employment Stimulus has created 2.2 million jobs since 2020. You repeated commitments to youth employment initiatives, echoing promises made from 2021 to 2024. Yet, outside the Cape Town City Hall, thousands of majority black people remain unemployed, desperate, and disillusioned. My leader, do you read Statistics South Africa reports, including the Quarterly Labour Force Surveys? 

Then, National Health Insurance (NHI) – that mythical beast. You spoke of digital health records and accreditation frameworks, steps you’ve been promising since 2019. However, hospitals remain understaffed, under-resourced, and overstretched, and NHI implementation still feels as distant as Phala Phala Wildlife Farm accountability. Almost 15 years in the making, not a single leader in the ANC can articulate with certainty the funding model of NHI, not even those with advanced degrees. 

Finally, Anti-Corruption Measures. You spoke of strengthening the Investigating Directorate, asset recovery efforts, and post-State Capture reforms – words echoing every Sona since 2019. This is a well-rehearsed script delivered with the calm assurance of a man unburdened by consequence. Yet, South Africans still watch high-profile crooks walk free, most cloaked in parliamentary attire and protected by the Blue Light Brigade. 

Meanwhile, whistle-blowers live in fear, hiding in plain sight, some already buried six feet under. Their only crime is that they spoke the truth. The State Capture Commission gave us volumes of evidence, yet the perpetrators are free to roam, some even seated in the very chamber where you delivered your sermon on accountability.

My leader, was this Sona 2025 or just another Sona rerun? If we cut and pasted your past speeches, would anyone even notice? 

Sprinkle of new promises and fresh ideas


My trusted AI companion uncovered a few new promises and a handful of fresh ideas. But will they materialise, or are they merely Sona seasoning – designed to dazzle and then disappear?

First, the National Digital Identity System, a one-stop digital platform promising to revolutionise government services, can only come from the DA’s newbies with new bright ideas. 

Then, there is the R20-billion Transformation Fund, a five-year pot of gold earmarked for black-owned businesses, women, youth, and persons with disabilities. I reserve my comment on this one. 

Water, the lifeblood of any economy, finally gets a National Water Resource Infrastructure Agency backed by a R23-billion windfall. 

To professionalise the public service, a Graduate Recruitment Scheme will funnel the “best and brightest” into senior government roles; ANC comrades and DA leader John “Vuli Gate” Steenhuisen will not like this. 

Finally, the AI-Powered Electronic Travel Authorisation (ETA) is clearly not from an ANC leader. A digital visa system is set to streamline applications, cut corruption and boost tourism. 

My leader, these are fine promises wrapped in ribbons of innovation, but will they land or join the growing graveyard of Sona pledges past?

Till next week, my man. Send me to Cape Town City Hall for leftovers, mainly free booze. DM

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