Meghan Markle is definitely no hero of mine! An interview with the one and only Coconut Kelz

The Reading List: We’d like to open with a lighthearted question: Who wrote this book, Lesego Tlhabi or Coconut Kelz?

Coconut Kelz: Well it’s Coconut Kelz’s Guide to Surviving This Shithole sooooo #ThinkAboutIt ?. 

TRL: Our second question is for Kelz – have you enjoyed Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s African tour? I believe she is a hero of yours.

Coconut Kelz: She is definitely not a hero of mine! I don’t have African heroes. Even if that African is 1% like Archie. I know Harry would’ve wanted to hang out in Camps Bay and on the whites-only (I’m talking about the sand) beaches of Clifton, but Meghan is forcing him to go visit her family in the townships and stuff. Gross. I have not enjoyed one minute of it and can’t wait for Hazza to get back to safe England where his white subjects hate Meghan as much as I do – and for the same (racist) reasons.

TRL: Now, some questions for Lesego, your, erm, co-author! In a recent interview, you mentioned that you have always wanted to write a book. Was the process of writing the book what you expected? Was it difficult or were you pleasantly surprised?

Lesego Tlhabi: Writing a book was both more difficult and more pleasant than I imagined. Difficult because being funny and thought-provoking on an intense schedule with a timeline is a bit tricky but pleasant because writing is genuinely one of my favourite forms of expression, so getting to do that every day was fabulous!

TRL: You have managed to translate your comedy seamlessly from video to the page. Did that come naturally to you, or did you have to work on a strategy for writing humour? 

Lesego Tlhabi: My strength is writing, but for this book I used the same formula for the videos, which was a lot of improv and then editing. It’s easy for me to go into Kelz mode: without any thought, I can switch between the two. 

TRL: Do you think you have another book in you? Do you write fiction, for example?

Lesego Tlhabi: I have so many books in me. This sounds sexual but what I mean is that when I imagined myself writing a book a few years ago, it wasn’t using a persona or character. I have stories that I definitely want to tell but they are more a cross between fiction and biography (not necessarily mine). I will definitely do this again, but I think one Kelz book is enough.

TRL: Your comedy is built around a persona, but it’s also acute political commentary. How do you keep up with what’s happening in politics and in the news?

Lesego Tlhabi: I keep up on Twitter, mostly – but then I also listen to talk radio in the mornings for what is making South Africans angry/happy/interested. I’m also an observer – I love going to places and watching how different people (especially along race and class lines) behave and react to the same situation. Or watching how people react to certain triggers. It’s so interesting.

TRL: Satire is a balancing act, and you have had some people who didn’t realise that what you’re doing is humour. Do you ever worry about taking a joke too far?

 Lesego Tlhabi: I don’t worry about that. I don’t react too quickly anymore. I’ll give something a day or two to feel it out. Also, I don’t go for certain topics – like GBV for example, or personal stories, so that keeps it from going too far. I’m positive, I’m a feminist, I’m pro black, and I’m an ally and I think that comes across in my work. 

TRL: Finally, a couple more questions for Kelz. First, I’m sure you’ve been watching the Rugby World Cup. What advice do you have for the Springboks to improve their game?

Coconut Kelz: I have been watching, of course! Mostly at pubs or at braais with my friends. The advice I have for the rugby team: lose the black captain and don’t give in to pressure to include quotas. Even if the black players are faster or whatevs, it’s only because they have to run from the police all the time so think about that.

TRL: In the book, you explain that white privilege doesn’t exist, and that it’s a “figment of black people’s imagination”. Could you explain this idea a little more?

Coconut Kelz: Nothing more to explain. All the white people I know say that they had to work hard for what they have, even though they got cars in matric, had access to any university they wanted, don’t have to deal with learning in a third or fourth language, had parents who allowed them to go “find themselves”, aren’t suspected of general wrongdoing just from their appearance and mostly are under-qualified for some of the positions they have held since the ’70s and ’80s... DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS WHITE PRIVILEGE!

TRL: You have plans to run for the leadership of the DA for the next elections. What would you say to convince our readers that you are the one to vote for? 

Coconut Kelz: Yes, I have definite plans to run for the DA! My message to Daily Maverick readers: Vote for me and I promise to get rid of tokenism in the party. I promise to get rid of the vernac and I will not go campaign at any taxi ranks; I will stay well within the Line of Caucus and return the DA to its former (micro-racism) glory. ML

Coconut Kelz’s Guide to Surviving this Shithole by Lesego Tlhabi is published by Jonathan Ball Publishers (R195). Visit The Reading List at for South African book news – including interviews! – daily.