Our lives are meant to intersect, so reach out to one another, lest we forget what it is to be human

I remember watching the brilliant Oscar-winning movie Crash, directed by Paul Haggis, in 2004. Back then, the all-star ensemble cast was still novel and to a certain extent contributed to the evocative power of the movie.

I was struck by a line in the opening scene and have revisited it from time to time over the past 20 years to examine it further. A detective attending to a multiple car crash scene says: “It’s the sense of touch. In any real city you walk, you know? You brush past people; people bump into you.

“In LA, nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something.”

He says this in reference not only to the actual car crash, but to reflect the symbolism behind the many similar scenes that occur in the city every day. As the movie progresses, we start to see the metaphorical reference also happen through the collision of race and culture, and how people are forced into each other’s orbit and space, which necessitates interaction and engagement that otherwise would not have taken place.

This, in many ways, makes me think of South Africa and how we are thrown into these moments daily. Every day, we have to make decisions about how best to proceed not just in the moment, but in a manner that compels us to consider the future versions of ourselves and how we would like that to manifest.

In a country that is still thrashing out issues of unity, division, mistrust, revisionism and identity politics, it is necessary to examine what these moments of collision are telling us and trying to teach us about ourselves and the kind of world we want to live in and create for our children to inherit.

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Do we want a world and a society that obstruct human connection by investing in the points that divide or cause harm, or one in which everyone is valued and seen as equals? How do we make sure that we all appreciate that our lives are meant to intersect – that we should “touch” as we “brush past” each other?

This is necessary so that we don’t live in unsustainable enclaves of isolation that prevent us from experiencing human interactions in their fullness. How do we use these moments to remind us that our strength is in the recognition of each other’s humanity?

We should use these moments to “feel” and let that feeling guide us back to the versions of ourselves that are not committed to creating artificial barriers promoting fear and mistrust.

We should put intentional energy behind seeking our points of connection to co-create a mosaic of life worth being proud of. Change is often sparked by conflict and a recognition that harnessing this energy constructively is what spurs us forward. DM

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.