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Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column: Bella’s Divine Loaf

Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column: Bella’s Divine Loaf
Bella's Divine Loaf. Image: Peter van Straten.
Sally Andrew
By Sally Andrew
10 Aug 2021
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Sally Andrew is the author of a series of Tannie Maria murder mysteries set in the Klein Karoo. In this monthly column, Daily Maverick collaborates with the (fictional) Karoo Gazette to share some of Tannie Maria’s stories, letters and recipes.

In Sally Andrew’s Tannie Maria mystery Death on the Limpopo, Zabanguni Kani, a (fictional) investigative journalist for the Daily Maverick, pays a visit to Tannie Maria, the writer of an agony aunt column at the Klein Karoo Gazette. 

"If you saw Tannie Maria at the Spar shopping for flour, eggs and castor sugar, you wouldn’t guess at the escapades she gets herself into. Or that in her ordinary life she writes an agony aunt column for the Klein Karoo Gazette. And that’s just her ordinary life. Never mind when she has to flee for her life," said Tony Jackman.


Here, Tannie Maria shares the tale of one of their adventures, along with the recipe of Bella's Divine Loaf.

***


We were driving down a sandy track between some big trees. Zaba had the headlights on dim, and all we could see was their wide trunks. She drove between ditches and rocks. I was very proud of my bakkie. It knew what it was doing.

Babiana, Klein Karoo. Image: Bowen Boshier.



Elephants by the Limpopo. Image: Bowen Boshier



As we came out of the trees, Zaba turned off the lights and came to a stop.

“We’re camping here?” I said.

“Look,” she said, pointing.

But all I saw was blackness … Oh, now there were some shapes. Dark fat trees. But the trees were moving … Elephants!

Walking in a line, right in front of us.

It was hard to believe, because they were totally silent. Such big beasts, so many, walking, walking, without making a sound.

And then they were gone.

“Camagu,” said Zaba.

She started the engine again and turned on the brights, lighting up the sandy road and some bushveld.

We hadn’t gone far when there was a scary high-pitched sound. For a moment I thought a train was about to hit us. But it wasn’t a train that appeared out of the blackness. It was a huge angry creature in our headlights, twice the size of the bakkie, trumpeting and flapping its ears as it charged towards us.

I knew I was about to die, and was surprised to find that my thoughts went to Bella’s Divine Loaf that we had bought in Graaff-Reinet. I had not eaten it. Not even tasted it. A part of me knew I should be thinking about winding up the window, or about Henk, or Zaba, or my father, or something important. But it seemed like my last thought was going to be regret about an uneaten slice of cake.

“It’s a mock charge,” said Zaba. “When they’re serious, the charge is deathly silent.”

She was right. Just before the elephant flipped the car over and pulled us out of the windows – slicing us apart with broken glass – and trampled on the pieces, it stopped. Spun around in a whirl of dust, and disappeared into the darkness.

“She was just scaring us away,” said Zaba. “Showing us who’s boss.”

The headlights lit up the dust that fell in slow motion.

“She’s the boss,” I said. “I’m not arguing with her. How do you know it’s a she?”

“Didn’t you see her breasts?” said Zaba. “They’re huge.”

I hadn’t noticed such detail. I had only seen death. And cake.

***




Bella’s Divine Loaf

  • ½ cup olive oil

  • 3 eggs

  • ½ cup light brown sugar

  • 1¼ cups (175 g) self-raising flour, sifted

  • 1 cup hazelnuts, roasted and roughly chopped

  • 1 cup slivered almonds, roughly chopped

  • 125 g (about 8) dried figs, chopped

  • 1 bar (90–100 g) dark chocolate (about 40% cocoa), finely chopped

  • 11⁄3 cups mixed (candied) citrus peel, finely chopped

  • Grated zest of 1 naartjie or 1 small orange

  • Thick yoghurt, cream or crème fraîche for serving


Preheat your oven to 180°C. Grease a 20×10cm loaf tin.
Whisk together the olive oil, eggs and sugar until light and fluffy. (Use an electric mixer if you have one.)
Fold the sifted flour into the egg mixture.
Spoon in the nuts, figs, chocolate, citrus peel and zest, and gently fold in.
Spoon the batter into the prepared tin.
Bake for 50–55 minutes, or until the top is set and the cake is firm to the touch.
Allow to cool completely in the tin before turning out. The cake is nicest after a few hours of cooling.
Serve sliced, with thick yoghurt, cream or crème fraîche. It is also delicious buttered.

Bella's Divine Loaf. Image: Peter van Straten.



Tips

If your naartjie is too thin-skinned for easy grating, you can finely chop the whole peel.

This is a dry fruit cake, but you can make it moist by turning it upside down, and pouring a tablespoon or two of almond or naartjie liqueur over it. Let it soak in for at least 15 minutes before turning the cake the right way up.

You can also make divine biscotti-type biscuits. Slice the loaf thinly, halve the slices, spread them out on a baking tray, and then dry them out in your oven on a low heat for at least 1 hour. DM/ ML/ TGIF



This letter and Tannie Maria’s recipe are an excerpt from Death on the Limpopo, co-starring fictional character and Daily Maverick investigative journalist, Zabanguni Kani, aka Zaba. You can buy Sally Andrew’s books here.

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