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Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column: Tannie Kuruman’s Melktert

Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column: Tannie Kuruman’s Melktert
Recipes for Love and Murder, A Tannie Maria Mystery. By Sally Andrew
Sally Andrew
By Sally Andrew
15 Jun 2021
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Sally Andrew is the author of a series of Tannie Maria murder mysteries set in the Klein Karoo. In this monthly column, Daily Maverick collaborates with the (fictional) Karoo Gazette to share some of Tannie Maria’s stories, letters and recipes.

MAMA MARIA!

QUEEN OF THE LOVE ADVICE AND RECIPE COLUMN OF THE KLEIN KAROO GAZETTE

You have much help for the people who write to you and I am glad. I can give help for love and other problems. I have herbs and powers from God that can help with:

*Love remote control *Bring back lost lover in 1 hour *To lock lover not to fool around and to be at your feet and listen to you only *Evil spirits and tokoloshes *Sexual problems in all sizes you want *Big and strong manhood enlargement 20 or 30cm – results in 40 minutes *Powerful lotto and casino lucky ring *Short boys/rats to bring money into your account *Magic stick to finish unfinished job *All diseases and pregnancy *Pig lice *Magic wallet attracts money and jobs *Clear debt in 1 hour *Sendwana oil protection *Rainbow water for luck *Bad dreams and bewitching from the dead *All other problems and wishes

Come to Mama Bolo and you will be helped.
100% GUARANTEED. PAY ONLY WITH SATISFACTION

She gave a cell phone number.

My own problems were covered by ‘Sexual problems of all sizes’ and ‘Bad dreams and bewitching from the dead’. If I had not already phoned the satanic mechanic that morning, who knows? I might have called her.

I carried on reading the letter. She didn’t have a love problem of her own, but she did want recipe advice …

Mama Maria,

I am asking your help to cook pudding with milk. I did get a cow as payment from a very satisfied customer. I gave the cow rainbow water to drink and it makes too much milk. I can make nice sour cream and cream cheese, but I want some sweet things also. You Afrikaans mamas know how to make nice milk and cheese puddings. Tell me some.

Thank you and God bless you

MAMA BOLO
EXPERT AND QUEEN OF MUTI

I gave the Queen of Medicines Tannie Kuruman’s melktert recipe. I’ve tasted many milk tarts, and Tannie K’s is the most excellent. And I also gave Mama Bolo the recipe for the best cheesecake in the world – which my friend Candy from New York had sent me. Just thinking about it made my tongue want to melt in my mouth.

***


Tannie Kuruman’s Melktert

Before Sally Andrew found the perfect recipe, she made one that was rather disgusting, but she found a good way to make good use of it.



Crust

  • 1¼ cups cake flour

  • ¹⁄³ cup icing sugar

  • ¼ t salt

  • ½ cup cubed butter (125 g), softened

  • 2 egg yolks


Sift the flour, icing sugar and salt together.
Add the butter and egg yolks and cut into the flour with a knife. Using your fingers, knead very gently until the butter is mixed in. Wrap the dough in cling film and leave to rest for 30 minutes in the fridge.
Roll out the dough on a floured surface and fit into a well-greased 24cm pie dish.
Prick the base with a fork.
Bake for 15–20 minutes at 200 ºC.

Filling

Ingredients A

  • 2 cups milk

  • 1 T butter

  • Pinch of salt

  • 2⁄³ cup sugar


Ingredients B

  • 1 cup milk

  • 2 T cake flour

  • ¼ cup corn starch


Ingredients C

  • 2 eggs

  • 1 t vanilla extract


Topping

Cinnamon sugar

Heat ingredients A (2 cups milk, butter, salt and sugar) in a saucepan, stirring until the sugar has dissolved.
Mix ingredients B (1 cup milk, flour and corn starch) in a bowl, and pour A onto B.
Mix well and return to the saucepan.
Cook the mixture, stirring all the time, for about 5 minutes until it has thickened and the floury taste has gone.
Beat ingredients C (eggs and vanilla extract) in a bowl. Slowly whisk the hot mixture into C and mix well. Return to the saucepan and cook gently until thick (2–3 minutes).
Pour the custard into the baked pastry crust and let it cool and set. Sprinkle on lots of cinnamon sugar before serving.

Tips

To make cinnamon sugar, mix equal parts of ground cinnamon and brown sugar.

You can dust the top of the milk tart with just cinnamon instead of cinnamon sugar. DM/ ML/ TGIF

Recipes for Love and Murder, A Tannie Maria Mystery. By Sally Andrew



This letter and Tannie Maria’s recipe are an excerpt from Recipes for Love and Murder. This sublime melktert recipe came to Tannie Maria’s author, Sally Andrew, from Martin Mossmer’s great-great-grandmother, Ouma Alie Visser. You can buy Sally Andrew’s books here.

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