After the Bell — the finance bros' way of dressing to make sure your wife remains unfaithful

When I started what might laughingly be described as a professional career in journalism – even as a cub reporter – I was required to wear a suit and tie. Still today, it’s the default mode of men’s professional fashion. But I get the sense there is a big change taking place. The casualisation of the office and working from home, partly caused by the Covid pandemic, is affecting office wear.  

The suit-and-tie culture has gripped male professional fashion for almost 200 years. It was popularised by the British dandy Beau Brummell, who is not, it turns out, the person with the same name who popularised the fashion in the 1970s of wearing no clothes at all. That Beau Brummell was what was called back in the day a “naturist”, which meant prancing around with your privates visible in public places, an idea which has, thankfully, pretty much been binned. 

The other Beau Brummell pioneered well-cut, tailored suits in contrast to the foppish styles that preceded his innovation in the early 19th century. Typically, his colours were subdued, the necktie was not fluffed up, and pants were long. The full-length pants were an enormous step forward because previously men wore “knee pants and stockings”, which were cut off just below the knee and invariably made you look ridiculous. 

It’s amazing how little the business suit has evolved from there. It’s still drab: acceptable colours are black or dark blue, you can wear stripes so long as they are very thin and frankly, to my untrained eye, they look commoditised and generic. 

But according to The Wall Street Journal — and they should know — the “finance bro” of today’s Wall Street looks very different. A recent article says, “Decades ago, if you asked Americans to envisage a Wall Street commuter, they might have pictured a man in a dapper three-piece suit, reading the paper on the train from Connecticut. Visit many corporate offices today, though, and you’d be forgiven for thinking the male execs had hiked in from a yoga studio.” 

There has been an awful outbreak of fleece vests, stretch pants and orthopaedic-looking sneakers. The new trend is so terrible it seems as though “businessmen are dressing as if challenging their spouses to remain faithful”, the Journal comments.

What has happened is that the notion of hybrid tech fabrics is straddling exercise and office attire. Fortunately, the Journal has solutions: The only acceptable remedy for a fleece vest is to burn it and never speak of it again, it says. (I agree.) Choose half-zip jerseys, by all means, but in wool or cashmere, and stay away from stretchy pants with that odd seam, and go with cotton instead. 

Okay, this is all very well, but it doesn’t solve the problem of when to wear a suit and when not to. One of the modern conventions is to wear the suit but dump the tie. A lot of male politicians use this convention (hello, John Steenhuisen) because it suggests you should be taken seriously but are also people-y enough to be a people. President Cyril Ramaphosa campaigns in an ANC golf shirt — which has the advantage of a notional collar —  but presides in a suit and tie, as I think he should. Others go further, and campaign in a full-on T-shirt because they are really people (hello, Julius Malema).

I should mention I have been involved in one rather unfortunate incident involving Malema and clothes. I once claimed very sarcastically in a column that Malema’s hypocrisy was evident because he wore Paul Smith shirts under his red overalls.  I never heard from the Red Brigade or Malema; presumably, they had better things to do than respond to snotty mockery. But I did hear from a representative of Paul Smith who told me in a slightly superior tone that “everybody knows Malema wears Polo shirts”, thus revealing not only my lack of journalistic research and fashion knowledge but also my lack of taste!

I have to say, I rather like this new period of indecision. There is a trend toward something called “quiet luxury”, which opens up the scope for expression. There is something great about fine clothes in natural fibres. I default to jeans, partly because they are the clothing revolution of my generation, but also because of cotton, which just feels great. I still wear jeans with a jacket, which is probably a huge style no-no. But jeans do have the great advantage of being a natural fabric without any odd seams. 

I think the days of the tie are numbered, but I suspect it might remain as a signal of deep seriousness (unless you are Donald Trump, who wears a tie that nearly skims his knees), and might be reserved for special occasions, just as the black-tie costume is hauled out for formal dinners. But if you think about it, the tie is ridiculous: it’s like wearing a conveniently tied, ready-made noose — at least that’s what it feels like to me, especially in a hot-climate country like South Africa. 

So, bring on the linen jackets, herringbone trousers and suede sneakers. But please, have a heart. Wear them with socks. DM