Hoping to heal the heart with a slow-cooked lamb curry

Dear Tannie Maria, 

I’ve always enjoyed your recipes. I read them every week. 

I am ashamed to be writing to you now for advice. I’ve made my bed and I should lie in it, but then after what’s just happened... 

I promised to love and obey this man. My husband. The love has dried up, but I do my best. He does his bit too, he pays for our son who has cerebral palsy and is in a special needs home. 

The beatings only happen when he is drunk or jealous. If I don’t fight back it’s not too bad. He says he is sorry afterwards, which in an odd way, I believe, and that he won’t do it again, which I don’t. Sometimes something snaps. I think it has something to do with his own father and with his time in the army. He has nightmares about the army. Not that I’m making excuses for him – I’m just saying he’s not a monster. 

Maria reading a letter in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: Patrick Toselli/AcornTV

Maria thinking in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

Maria in her garden with Jessie in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: Patrick Toselli/AcornTV

Martine, Anna and ducks in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

Martine and Dirk. in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

Martine writing to Tannie Maria in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

My mouth was dry and I stood up, leaving the half-read letter on the chair. I went inside and poured myself a glass of water from the fridge. My hands were shaking a bit. My chest hurt as I swallowed. It happens when I drink cold water too fast. I went back to the letter in the garden and carried on reading. 

The beatings are about once a month. The sex once a week. So I have twenty-five days a month when he doesn’t bother me much. I have a lot of happy hours with my woman friend, who comes to visit when he is out. I work only two mornings a week, so am at home a lot. She and I have a kind of love for each other, though I prefer to keep it platonic. 

She gave me the ducks. Three white ornamental ducks. We fixed up the pond for them to swim in. 

Those ducks were the first things I’ve ever loved in a totally pure way. Without guilt or pain. Pure bright joy. I could just watch them for hours. Swimming. Waddling. Rooting in the grass. Lying with their beaks tucked into their feathers. 

He shot them. 

All three of them. 

With his fucking shotgun. 

They were sleeping. 

I wanted to kill him. I grabbed a kitchen knife and ran at him. He held my arms, until I’d cried myself into exhaustion. 

My husband had drunk a bottle of Klipdrift brandy. He was jealous of my friend and of the ducks. But the final straw was the curry I made. He said the lamb was tough and the curry too spicy. He said I didn’t care about him. He was right on both counts. 

Could you please give me a recipe for a good mutton curry? 

And any other advice? 

Yours sincerely 

Bereft woman 

Then there was the second letter from her.

Oh hell, I’m such a total idiot. Please tear up that last letter. If my husband ever sees or hears about it... I’m a fool. Please don’t publish it. Destroy it. I beg you. 

I sat there for a long time with the letters on my lap, looking at my veldskoene, remembering things I didn’t want to remember. The sun slowly chased me out of the shadow and I felt its warmth on my legs and shoulders. But I was shivering and felt cold. Then suddenly I was hot, the sun burning my skin. A wind rustled the leaves in the tree and I stood up and went inside. 

Klein Karoo mist near Prince Albert. Image: Patrick Toselli

We would of course not print what she wrote, but we could publish a recipe and a letter from me. I picked up my pen. I spent a long time working out what to say: writing and crossing out. It took me two hours and a bowl of mango sorbet. In the end I said: 

I lived for too many years with a man that beat me. Bruises and bones can heal. But the heart, the heart can be damaged forever. Love is a precious thing. If you are with a man who abuses you, you should leave him. I know there are many reasons why it is hard. But you can find a way. 

You can do better than I did. You can save your heart. 

Then I wrote out my best recipe for a slow-cooked lamb curry. (My mind jumped to a duck muscadel dish, but of course I didn’t write it.) It is a very tender and delicious curry with excellent sambals. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycR1VDYrpME

***

Mutton Curry recipe 

Serves: 4-6 people
Prep Time: 45 minutes
Resting Time: 24 hours
Oven Baking Time: 2 hours
Oven Temperature: 160 degrees day 1 and 190 degrees day 2

Ingredients

1 kg mutton neck or shanks sliced in rounds
250 ml of flour mixed with 10 ml of salt and 10 ml of fine black pepper
125 ml of olive oil
2 large onions chopped
5 cloves of grated garlic
50 ml of grated fresh ginger
15 ml ground turmeric
25 ml of paprika
3 chillies chopped
75 ml of olive oil
2 medium-sized brinjals chopped in cubes.  Salt for 5 minutes, rinse and pat dry
20 ml of cumin seeds
15 ml of yellow mustard seeds
6 cardamom pods cracked
½ a cinnamon stick
2 tins of chopped whole peeled tomatoes
50 g of tomato paste
2 cups of prepared strong chicken stock
4 large potatoes peeled and cubed
15 ml of garam masala
250 ml of chopped fresh coriander

***

Handwritten recipe in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

Prepare 24 hours in advance – this is vital as the meat needs to slow cook, be really soft and tender and give time to the spices’ flavour to develop.

Begin by tossing the meat in the flour, salt and pepper mixture until it is well coated.

Heat up a large saucepan and brown the meat on all sides – do not crowd the pan – this will give the curry an intense deep colour, add loads of meaty flavour and help to thicken the sauce. 

Set the meat aside to rest and into the hot oil add the chopped onions and stir vigorously to loosen all the brown meaty bits, fry until golden brown, add the garlic and ginger right at the end and cook for about another 3 to 4 minutes, remove and set aside.

Add to the pan next – turmeric, paprika, chillies, olive oil and fry vigorously until all the flavours are released – add the brinjals in next and fry until translucent and brown. 

Mutton Curry in 'Recipes for Love and Murder'. Image: BothWorld

Place the cooked onions and meat back into the pot and stir through well, then add the cumin seeds, mustard seeds, cracked cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, 2 tins of tomato, tomato paste and 2 cups of strong chicken stock. Heat and stir until it starts to bubble.

Place in the 160 degree oven and cook for 2 hours.  Turn the oven off and let it cool.  Leave the curry overnight in the fridge.

An hour before serving boil the potatoes in salty water, drain and add to the curry with the garam masala.

Stick the pot in the hot oven for about 5 minutes or until the liquid has thickened

Season to taste and stir in the chopped coriander.

Serve with a tomato and onion & cucumber sambal with your favourite chutney and thick double cream minted yoghurt. DM/ ML

'Recipes for Love and Murder' series poster. Image: BothWorld

'Recipes for Love and Murder' by Sally Andrew book cover. Image: Supplied

This letter and Tannie Maria’s response are an excerpt from Recipes for Love and Murder. The Mutton Curry recipe is from the TV series Recipes for Love and Murder produced by Both Worlds, and based on Sally Andrew’s Tannie Maria novels. It is available on DStv. It will broadcast internationally from 5 September 2022 on Acorn TV in the USA, UK, Latin America, Australia, New Zealand and Latin America. You can buy Sally Andrew’s books here.

The National Shelter Movement of South Africa offers accommodation in every province for women and their children who have been victims of abuse. They have a 24-hour, toll-free helpline: 0800 001 005.

In case you missed it, read Slow-burn: Acknowledging and surviving intimate partner violence and abusive relationships

https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2021-12-14-slow-burn-acknowledging-and-surviving-intimate-partner-violence-and-abusive-relationships/