Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters

Culturally defined body ideals

Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. TikTok, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time.

For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to achieve body transformation in 54 days, or the 75 Hard Challenge, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days.

For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “legging legs.”

Women and teens have also been inundated with recent messaging around quick-fix weight loss drugs, which come with a lot of caveats.

Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is possible to lose sight of the bigger picture. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behaviour doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviours affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being.

The profound effect of maternal role models

Research shows that mothers and maternal figures have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image.

The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image begin very early in life – during the preschool years.

Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behaviour, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think.

For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of non-dieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness.

Mothers’ eating behaviour does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behaviour. The amount of food that mothers eat predicts how much their daughters will eat. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are more likely to become dieters themselves and are also more likely to have a negative body image.

Negative body image is not a trivial matter. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a host of ways and can predict the emergence of eating disorders.

Avoiding ‘fat talk’

What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health?

They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so.

For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, contributing to weight bias and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters.

And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with lower motivation and unhealthful eating. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way a loving friend might treat you.

In discussions about food and eating behaviour, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labelling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.”

Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behaviour, is associated with better physical and mental health in adolescence.

Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters to develop media literacy and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media.